Going to miss this
So this is what it feels like to be ending the mission... weird! It feels so weird. I'm just in the silent admiration stage. Taking it all in for the last time. Every person I talk to I find myself admiring the setting no matter how cold, hot or tired I feel. Its like everything is perfect. Even the unfortunate things. I just smile and say... "I love the mission." I can´t even count how many times Ive looked at my companion in silence and just said... "ya know.. I'm REALLY going to miss the mission." and she just smiles and responds the same as always, "I know you will hermana" In the beginning of this week I woke up crying in my morning prayer. Telling Heavenly Father how grateful I am for being called to serve 19 months. This last transfer was the most rapid growth and transformation for me I think. I feel like now I know what I'm up against with the world, but now I know what I'm made of and what my relationship is with God. I know what real happiness truly is and Ive learned how to keep it. Live the Gospel. Living it is the answer to everything. I remember when I first got here, the steps of the gospel (faith, repentance, baptism etc) were just important terms that I knew. Now I can say, that Ive taught them everyday for almost two years. Ive lived them and Ive taught others to live them, and in return Ive seen the millions of fruits and blessings from doing so. I know what works, and what doesn't. My Heavenly Father has guided and loved me. My Savior Jesus Christ has walked with me, I know because Ive felt him. Ive felt the protection of guardian angels surrounding me in danger and sorrow and Ive also felt Concords of angels singing hymns with us. Ive gained a deep testimony of the faith of a pioneer and Ive felt those pioneers who have gone before me pushing me forward when I didn't want to keep going. The Holy Ghost, my constant companion, has testified to me in sacred power that this is the truth. I can say that Ive learned to put down my walls to be meek enough to learn from on high. I can say that Ive obtained my own oil for light and built a testimony that wont leave my heart. where there was pain, I feel peace, where there was sadness Ive now found joy. Ive found the most beauty in myself while forgetting myself to help others and loving them completely. What more could I ask for of my lifetime then this most amazing experience!? Its filled my heart full.
MY STUDIES THIS WEEK
In some of my studies this week, I found this to be insightful. "The great challenge of life is not to ADD on more perfection, but its to strip away blindness and corruption... to discover who we truly are!" just something for you guys to ponder... I really like that.
Preparing to partake of the Sacrament:
Something I liked that our Bishop has challenged our ward to do is prepare for the Sacrament for 6 six days of the week. I know that seems like the response should be "well obviously" but I reflected on how I can better prepare to take the sacrament with a broken heart and contrite spirit, never growing numb to the spirit of revelation and gratitude of the Saviors Atonement. Our Bishop said, " sometimes its difficult for us to make changes, sometimes change is tough, but we are going to do this differently as a ward... we are going to enter the doors by 9:00 or else we miss partaking of the sacrament. We need to be on time when the Lord asks us to be here and partake of this sacred opportunity to renew our covenants. And how do we expect to renew them if we show up late? We are going to repent of being late and show him that we are serious about our progress. May we think of the lesson worth learning with the 10 virgins and those of them without oil for their own light who procrastinated until the end. Lets sacrifice just a little more, let us give a little more to the Lord on His day. I invite you to PREPARE your hearts for Sunday"
The BAPTISMS
Bueno, so I guess I will tell you guys about the wonderful baptisms that we had! I woke up so happy feeling like so much good was waiting to be had and we planned out the whole baptism for Vilma Ponce for Friday! Satan kept putting doubts in their minds that they should procrastinate the baptism for a later time but we didn't give up. We knew what God´s will truly was and is for them so we just kept the faith to plan it and pray hard for them to feel its right. Sure enough faith moves mountains! Emiliano (who Ive been teaching for 3 months now) stood there in his doorway doubting like crazy... and then we taught the doctrine of baptism and bore our testimony. Didn't take long for him to hear the spirit speak... he looked right at us and said... " you re right, I have no reason to put it off and I know that its true... I guess I just needed you guys to help me remember." I was so happy to hear him say this! I'm grateful to my kapa companion for following the spirit to go visit him in that very moment even though it wasn't part of our plans. The spirit tells us all things of which we should do. Thank you FAITH! Hno. Ponce called and just said... "hey missionaries, come over to my house, my wife is there and we need you guys to get the plans for the baptism all figured out!" I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT! all night that man just said how he was going to wait another month or two and then thanks to prayer BAM! He called and said to get it planned! so I didn't know how to respond, I just said... "what? for you? are you serious?" and he just says, " no not for me, for my neighbor... yes for ME chicas get out your balloons and bake me a cake because I'm getting baptized!" haha we were very content to say the least. We just had to have the kind of faith that President Gulbrandsen has tried so hard to convey to us. The faith to believe "the campo está blanco! Ready for the harvest! YA! NOW!" We were not with family Ponce overnight... and by the morning they had made the decision to be baptized because that's the Lords will and they know it... talk about miracles! Angels are preparing these people to accept the gospel not just us! God is rolling forth his work and we see it everyday. Long story short Hno. Ponce needs one more week to prepare for baptism but his wife Vilma is reading the Book Of Mormon like crazy and super independent with her progress, in the way that she doesn't need us anymore, shes got it all down! She understands the importance of the OLA to pray, read and come to church. So It was a very busy crazy hard and fun week for us all! Friday morning, we finally attended the wedding of Emiliano and Evangelina!!!!!!! it was AWESOME!!!! then Friday night was Vilma's baptism and she was so cute. She had a huge grin ALL night! The friend that baptized her is extremely tall. hes a very nice guy. and then Saturday, Juan Emiliano Uncos entered the water of baptism. Right before he walked into the water my comp. and I had a moment to look him in the eyes and remind him that all of his sins of the past would be left in the water for good and he would become a new person. we told him to focus on his Savior. His eyes swelled with tears and he nodded is head and said thank you and before we knew it he was walking a very happy Emiliano completely filled with light! Sunday we made sure to get our investigators to church for their confirmations and those also were very amazing! Emilianos confirmation said that he and his new wife would one day serve a mission together! We were amazed to see all of the 5 less active families we have really worked hard with, all came to the church FOR THE 3rd TIME IN A ROW!!!!! this was a huge feeling of peace. I was especially happy to see Diego and his children, and all of our baptisms in this area active and happy in sacrament meeting.
OUR FINAL TESTIMONIES:
Well since its general Conference this weekend, we are not having a despedida :( its sad that we wont be able to see all of our converts over the span of our mission and say goodbye to them but its okay. We are not here to celbrate for ourselves anyway, we are here for the Lord. And when we all go home, we will celebrate the homecoming with our families there.
Elder Christensen and I were asked to share our final testimonies and the emotion didn't hit me for a while. I was super strong until the counselor Hno. García looked at me and then nodded me to come up and said, "hna. Gillum.. Your last testimony" then as I walked up, I hinted for Elder Christensen to go first... As i sat on the stand behind him... hearing his testimony... and seeing all those faces looking up at us.... the tears couldn't be held back any longer. I just got up to the stand and sniffled and cried and laughed about telling them to pray in that moment for me to have the ability to speak now and cry later... they all laughed. But half way through my testimony... I felt the presence of my Savior standing directly behind me and I looked into the congregation and saw that 70 percent of the people were crying with me and I wasn't alone. I think Its sufficient to say the spirit was felt. I thanked these people for changing my life. I thanked my savior for the ability to be forgiven and to serve others. I thanked these people for their humility that I just couldn't have learned any other way in my life other than living among them long enough. I felt so much peace in my heart. the assurance that my Heavenly Father is proud of me for the testimonies of which I've given. I feel peace in that assurance. Ive come, I've served, I've changed.
Ive cried tears of joy, happiness, sorrow, sympathy. Ive cried with the young and the old, the rich and the poor, I've cried with lonely and broken hearted and abandoned. Ive fed, clothed, nourished and cared for the sick and the weary. Ive been a good Samaritan and a sincere friend. Ive found my greatest potential in the work of the Lord. There is a time for everything right?
This is the time to work until my plane leaves Buenos Aires at 9:00 pm. Monday, reminisce
I'm very grateful. To you all for your support and love. To my family in the U.S. and my family in this beautiful country of Argentina. I know this is the True church, I testify that God knows and loves us so much that his plan for us is much better than our own plans for ourselves. i testify that repentance brings healing and comfort. I testify that there is no problem to small and insignificant that the Lord doesnt want to heal, I testify that there is no problem too big that he cant heal or take care of when we just let him. Hes the master potter and we are the clay in his hands. When we are humble, we are easier for him to shape into a better and more beautiful masterpiece. I testify that true beauty doesnt come from material or popularity but it comes from within. And when the whole body is filled with light it shows in ones eyes. I testify that We need not worry of burdens too big to carry. He shapes our backs to bear them and he prepares the way to accomplish all good and prepares the way to escape all evil.
I leave my last testimony as a missionary with you all in this time in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
I'm grateful to be able to say....
I left my nets behind to follow Him, it was the best decision Ive ever made, I'm proud to say that Ive served a full time mission as a servant of the Lord.
Once a convert to the church not too long ago, and NOW I can say
that I was, and I am a Sister Missionary of the Lord, and I shall always be.
I love you more than you guys will ever comprehend....
...SISTER Ashley Ann Gillum
Buenos Aires Norte Argentina Misión
15th of September 2010 -- 1st of April 2012
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