new start

Well this last week was a rollercoaster. its been pretty cold lately and I havent seen the sun all week. the weather started out really wierd at first. At 630 am we got up and the sky was pretty normal, then we went out on the balcony two hours later and the sun was gorgeous shining between all the city buildings of Buenos Aires. I took a picture of it and then ten minutes later the sky was covered in pitch black with clouds that started pouring balls of hail! It was gnarly! then within a half hour it was clear again! But the sky has been full of grey clouds and it rains randomly every few hours and the wind has torn up all of our umbrellas haha so its funny to run to all of our appointments and be soaked all the time. I cannot wait to be warm again!

I struggled this week with the negativity that was going on in this area. I asked myself where has everyones faith gone? The bishop struggled with trusting us and so did our mission leader so with much prayer and fasting I just decided to prove with sincere love and hard work that Im here to do whats best for the ward and my investigators because I LOVE them and not because I expect anything in return. That seemed to work. God is still a God of miracles and even more than that He is our literal Father in Heaven who listens to our prayers, waits, watches over, lets us decide what to do on our own and then when we humbly depend on him enough He reveals to us his tender mercies. He surely has answered my prayers. I prayed and fasted for my companion and I to just be able to love and understand eachother. Theres nothing worse than being with a person every second every day that shows you in everyway that she rather be somewhere else without you. Ive tried so hard to make her smile and love her but she didnt like when I hugged or touched her. It was tough to find peace within myself with this wall I couldnt seem to get passed with her. So our district leader Elder Griffeth had us do an inventory together with him and get out our feelings and struggles to make things all better. That was the best thing for us to do. We both spoke the truth of how we were feeling. she wanted unity, I asked her to show more charity and act as if we are companions and not seperate or divided. She Agreed and admitted that its not natural for her to be kind or loving. He asked her how many times I say good things about her and to her... she responded... alot.... and he then asked and how many times do you have good things to say to her? and she paused... and said... well... I cant think of anything nice ive said to her. I thanked her for admitting that. that was tough for her to do I could tell but it was the first step to changing for the better. We figured out a solution. After that there were times I would find her yelling at me, rolling her eyes or throwing a fit about something again and I would just pause and look at her with a smile and say, its going to be alright hermana, we are companions, we can communicate better remember. Then she would loosen up again. For example we were on collectivo and she was behind me to get off with me at this stop but the bus driver quickly drove off closing the door and I turned around to see her face furious! So I ran to the next bus stop to get her and I was laughing so hard I could hardly breath because I knew she was so mad over this accident. When we met up she yelled and yelled about how it was everyone elses fault that she couldnt get off in time and I looked at her and said, hermana, its ok, its actually really funny you just gotta laugh about it, it happens sometimes! so since then shes been more and more calm and patient. Last night was rough, we got to each and every appointment early and by the time we got there, no answer or they would cancel. We must have walked all over our entire area without any success and I looked up at the sky and said, why? why do we have to struggle when we are trying our very hardest to do everything so right? I started thinking how I tried everything within my power to help our bishop and our leader to see our efforts are sincere. I offered to put in an hour of service for cleaning the church, I made colorful cards for all the members and cookies and brought facturas from the bakery. I spent so much time making a big calendar that has all the members on it and I have tried so hard to make them all happy. I started to cry on the way home thinking about all this responsability of our ward and so many other ppl and how sometimes I dont want it. sometimes i want to relax and gather my thoughts for a new game plan but we are always in an immediate rush to keep going. as we got home I cried on my bed asking heavenly father to comfort me and help me to feel like im not so alone out here. Right then, the bishop called, he said that he was happy with us for introducing this new family to him after church to meet them in his office and he was happy with our efforts here. He then gave us two references that he says hes has confidence in us with! Then after that our mission leader called us... here i am thinking oh great hes going to be mad about something or need something else from us because its usually negative. But it wasnt at all! He called to thank me for my sincere letter, to coordinate our next meeting, and to offer to help us clean! I was shocked! A lot of weight lifted off my shoulders but with my face still streaked with tears my companion came over threw her arms around me and squeezed the breath right out of me in a huge bear hug and wiped my tears off my face and gave me a big kiss on my cheek and said stop crying, its ok, your working so hard, i know you are and I see it everyday! who cares what others think, they dont know how hard you are trying but I do and heavenly father does. I love you, i love you i love you. ok? my jaw was dropped, eyes all wide... i was shocked, stunned! i COULDNT BELIEVE that my companion who has been so mean to me this whole time kissed my face and said she loved me! I laughed with her and said, "um... is this a dream... did you honestly just kiss my face and say you love me?" and she pinched my arm SO hard and laughed and walked away to the other room saying " well you didnt wake up, so I guess not!" hahaha but then she said... " dont think that Im going to ever do that again ok... because its hard for me to be that nice... but i dont want you to cry so dont." haha I was so happy!!!! God answers prayers and sends those ppl we need to love and care about us but it is only AFTER the trial of our faith that we may be blessed! This is evidence of all of that!

today is a holiday so everything is closed. theres like 5 holidays every month here and literally EVERYTHING closes. its so wierd.

may you all be greatly blessed this week and please pray for Amelia, Geraido, Adrian, Facundo, Y Kiara Romero to be baptized this coming saturday and recieve the gift of the holy ghost on sunday! Its my birthday on Monday (next pday) im looking forward to it. We are having Elder Leavitt (from idaho) Elder Davis (from ohio) and My birthday all on that day since were all a day apart anyway. It should be fun with our zone. pray for us to have warmer weather please!!! hahaha send me pictures of all you guys, i miss you!

you are all in my prayers I love you all!!! xoxoxox

con cariño,

hermana ashley gillum

3 baptisms

Well... Dont have time to say much or to respond to some letters... sorry! i will have to next week!

We went and played futból today at the church and it was a blast. I love playing futból with the latinos because I can learn more from them and they are all great missionaries and people.

Learned alot about myself this last week. Alot about my companion and how to work better with her. Shes tough to figure out. I feel a lot like the girl on the movie Errand Of Angels who just cannot seem to make her companion happy no matter what she does or tries. I cant figure out how but im going to continue to try. She is a wonderful person, but... she is a hint dropper.... I am a communicator... If I think or feel something... I explain it. She just drops me hints and is frustrated when I dont understand. That is the hard part for me. 80 percent of the time she doesnt like talking and im a talker... and the other percent she talks its usually only a few words. Im a huggy-lovey person, and she really dislikes to be touched or people in her space... so this for me is also new. Im just learning things from her that Ive never understood before. Im not going to try and change her because shes special the way she is but I am going to adjust my ways to make her more comfortable... I feel like this is preparing me for the tough spots in marriage in the future. haha. Its all fun in the beginning without complications but with everyday life, things happen that are not so fun and marriage to me, is all about giving it 150% not just 50-50. So this is where I adjust my habbits to do more to serve her. Yeah its tough.... but its needed. It will be better for the both of us and its what the Lord wants so Im going to do it.

Its just that we are very opposite people and its very hard for me to get used to but im completely depending on the lord and he has been guiding me. Im super happy to be doing His work. We have seen so many miracles! Thats the one and only thing we have in common... we are missionaries. We have a desire to serve in this work and put the things of the world aside to serve these people. I feel so different then before I left. The Lord has changed me for the better. I have never been this happy and grateful for an experience like this. People have been hacking into my facebook because the members here who are waiting for my acceptance tell me when things pop up on there and really im just going to want to delete my entire facebook when I get home because I dont ever want to be wrapped up in that. I want to live my dreams and bring back a better person then I was before, with greater faith and confidence.

I learned a valuable lesson from our zone leaders which called us to see if they could help my comp see things differently and be more happy and I learned a lesson about leadership.

A leader takes more fault and blame then neccessary, and less credit then what is due. I definately learned to pray more fervently for the gift of chairty and patience. I have learned that when people are new into the mission field and fresh out of the world, they lack the knowledge gained on the mission and they have a vision of "a perfect missionary" for their leader. When that "perfect idea" they have in mind doesnt match up to what they expect they very quickly want to critique and pick you apart. Its amazing how they will try to find every single flaw you have and magnify it even more. Ive learned to just let it go and instead of explaining how we sometimes do things differently when the spirit directs, I just nod my head and say, "yes hermana, thank you ill work on that." Then like our district leader said, when she sees my example to constantly strive to be better she will follow my lead more and the lord will help guide me.

Im really impressed by the gifts of the spirit im recieving... its incredible to recognize, that when the Lord calls us into a higher position of responsability he shapes the back to bear the burden placed upon it just as our Prophet says. I have a much greater memory, strength, patience and calmness that I can do this with the Lord as my guide.

I have really been impressed with the blessings we have seen for being exactly obedient in all things. We watched three young girls step into the waters of baptism and I was full of joy. We watched them all get confirmed with their father and It was a beautiful sight to see that family and picture them all together in heaven with pure happiness. I said a prayer in my heart to be able to bring all the families to this happiness. Thats my true desire. I want this peace and happiness for everyone.

We have a BBQ planned for us at the house of President and His wife next pday and Im looking forward to seeing them. They are like parents to all us missionaries. It amazes me how much they all do. We couldnt be having this success in the mission without their guidance in the mission. Its obvious why they are here now at this time. Im so grateful for this position as a missionary. I love the mission so much.

Til next week take care guys I love all of you!!!!! xoxoxoxox

 

love ashley ann gillum