new start

Well this last week was a rollercoaster. its been pretty cold lately and I havent seen the sun all week. the weather started out really wierd at first. At 630 am we got up and the sky was pretty normal, then we went out on the balcony two hours later and the sun was gorgeous shining between all the city buildings of Buenos Aires. I took a picture of it and then ten minutes later the sky was covered in pitch black with clouds that started pouring balls of hail! It was gnarly! then within a half hour it was clear again! But the sky has been full of grey clouds and it rains randomly every few hours and the wind has torn up all of our umbrellas haha so its funny to run to all of our appointments and be soaked all the time. I cannot wait to be warm again!

I struggled this week with the negativity that was going on in this area. I asked myself where has everyones faith gone? The bishop struggled with trusting us and so did our mission leader so with much prayer and fasting I just decided to prove with sincere love and hard work that Im here to do whats best for the ward and my investigators because I LOVE them and not because I expect anything in return. That seemed to work. God is still a God of miracles and even more than that He is our literal Father in Heaven who listens to our prayers, waits, watches over, lets us decide what to do on our own and then when we humbly depend on him enough He reveals to us his tender mercies. He surely has answered my prayers. I prayed and fasted for my companion and I to just be able to love and understand eachother. Theres nothing worse than being with a person every second every day that shows you in everyway that she rather be somewhere else without you. Ive tried so hard to make her smile and love her but she didnt like when I hugged or touched her. It was tough to find peace within myself with this wall I couldnt seem to get passed with her. So our district leader Elder Griffeth had us do an inventory together with him and get out our feelings and struggles to make things all better. That was the best thing for us to do. We both spoke the truth of how we were feeling. she wanted unity, I asked her to show more charity and act as if we are companions and not seperate or divided. She Agreed and admitted that its not natural for her to be kind or loving. He asked her how many times I say good things about her and to her... she responded... alot.... and he then asked and how many times do you have good things to say to her? and she paused... and said... well... I cant think of anything nice ive said to her. I thanked her for admitting that. that was tough for her to do I could tell but it was the first step to changing for the better. We figured out a solution. After that there were times I would find her yelling at me, rolling her eyes or throwing a fit about something again and I would just pause and look at her with a smile and say, its going to be alright hermana, we are companions, we can communicate better remember. Then she would loosen up again. For example we were on collectivo and she was behind me to get off with me at this stop but the bus driver quickly drove off closing the door and I turned around to see her face furious! So I ran to the next bus stop to get her and I was laughing so hard I could hardly breath because I knew she was so mad over this accident. When we met up she yelled and yelled about how it was everyone elses fault that she couldnt get off in time and I looked at her and said, hermana, its ok, its actually really funny you just gotta laugh about it, it happens sometimes! so since then shes been more and more calm and patient. Last night was rough, we got to each and every appointment early and by the time we got there, no answer or they would cancel. We must have walked all over our entire area without any success and I looked up at the sky and said, why? why do we have to struggle when we are trying our very hardest to do everything so right? I started thinking how I tried everything within my power to help our bishop and our leader to see our efforts are sincere. I offered to put in an hour of service for cleaning the church, I made colorful cards for all the members and cookies and brought facturas from the bakery. I spent so much time making a big calendar that has all the members on it and I have tried so hard to make them all happy. I started to cry on the way home thinking about all this responsability of our ward and so many other ppl and how sometimes I dont want it. sometimes i want to relax and gather my thoughts for a new game plan but we are always in an immediate rush to keep going. as we got home I cried on my bed asking heavenly father to comfort me and help me to feel like im not so alone out here. Right then, the bishop called, he said that he was happy with us for introducing this new family to him after church to meet them in his office and he was happy with our efforts here. He then gave us two references that he says hes has confidence in us with! Then after that our mission leader called us... here i am thinking oh great hes going to be mad about something or need something else from us because its usually negative. But it wasnt at all! He called to thank me for my sincere letter, to coordinate our next meeting, and to offer to help us clean! I was shocked! A lot of weight lifted off my shoulders but with my face still streaked with tears my companion came over threw her arms around me and squeezed the breath right out of me in a huge bear hug and wiped my tears off my face and gave me a big kiss on my cheek and said stop crying, its ok, your working so hard, i know you are and I see it everyday! who cares what others think, they dont know how hard you are trying but I do and heavenly father does. I love you, i love you i love you. ok? my jaw was dropped, eyes all wide... i was shocked, stunned! i COULDNT BELIEVE that my companion who has been so mean to me this whole time kissed my face and said she loved me! I laughed with her and said, "um... is this a dream... did you honestly just kiss my face and say you love me?" and she pinched my arm SO hard and laughed and walked away to the other room saying " well you didnt wake up, so I guess not!" hahaha but then she said... " dont think that Im going to ever do that again ok... because its hard for me to be that nice... but i dont want you to cry so dont." haha I was so happy!!!! God answers prayers and sends those ppl we need to love and care about us but it is only AFTER the trial of our faith that we may be blessed! This is evidence of all of that!

today is a holiday so everything is closed. theres like 5 holidays every month here and literally EVERYTHING closes. its so wierd.

may you all be greatly blessed this week and please pray for Amelia, Geraido, Adrian, Facundo, Y Kiara Romero to be baptized this coming saturday and recieve the gift of the holy ghost on sunday! Its my birthday on Monday (next pday) im looking forward to it. We are having Elder Leavitt (from idaho) Elder Davis (from ohio) and My birthday all on that day since were all a day apart anyway. It should be fun with our zone. pray for us to have warmer weather please!!! hahaha send me pictures of all you guys, i miss you!

you are all in my prayers I love you all!!! xoxoxox

con cariño,

hermana ashley gillum