stretching...

And Lehi took his things and set out into the wilderness... sometimes I feel like flying south for me was similar haha. Its a very different place; foreign. The people here are amazing. Thats the beauty of this place because its quite desolate. All the kids make me smile. I should have known that I would get sent to the most cold and windy place since I went as far as to ask NOT to be sent somewhere cold and windy in my prayers before the mission... I brought it on myself haha. I must say that ive been really blessed to have been sent to Buenos Aires though because Ive seen a little bit of everything that argentina has to offer and its been amazing. I wouldnt trade these experiences for the world. However...Ive learned that serving a mission means undergoing heart surgery and serious stretching. You have to learn to adapt to dreastic changes and curve balls that you have never before had thrown at you. This spiritual stretching takes place over and over again. We mess up and we pay the consequences... which in turn help us to realize how we not only are expected to change but we NEED to change and align our lives with greater caution. We are all human. All babies in comparision to our Eternal Father. Lacking the full understanding of what how and why we need to apply the principles of the gospel at all times. God always teaches us about His son Jesus Christ. In every part of the scriptures and every life lesson. All of this leading up to a life lesson ive learned this week and will continue to learn that I will speak about in the latter part of my letter.

THE WORK AND PROGRESS

I feel like we made good progress as far as investigators. Julian understands why he needs to serve a mission and hes preparing for that journey now. Karen is progressing at a rapid rate. She is an example to all her family. I got to spend some time around her sisters baby. Im happiest around children. My greatest joy will to be a mother one day. Karen also will make a great mother and she plans to serve a mission also. Natalia had many obstacles thrown before her so she was almost unable to be confirmed with the gift of the Holy Ghost but she overcame and ive never prayed so hard and fasted so often as we did for that girl to be able to overcome all of it. She had an interview with president Gomez and she desires to also... serve a mission! I cannot believe all of these valiant youth that have been prepared by God that he trusts US to find. Sunday we opened her door, went upstairs into her room and found her dead asleep and not answering her phone... but with lots of prayer and taking the action to get her up and telling her how much we love her and want the best for her... she rose up and said.. "why do you guys care about me so much? I always let you down?" I started to cry and looked at her... I saw myself in her asking my Heavenly Father the same exact thing. I responded... " because we love you more than we know how to explain... because we know that God is your Heavenly Father and his love is the greatest of all and he doesnt wanna lose you. He misses you and we WONT give up!" I felt so much power in our testimony to her. Before we knew it she was in the chair before the whole congregation being confirmed with the holy ghost and when she returned to sit with us she had tears in her eyes. She said "wow, i feel so peaceful all over again.Thank you for not giving up on me" I wrapped my arm around her and felt lHeavenly Fathers gratitude. Towards the end of the sacrament meeting I encouraged her to get up and share her testimony. Ive never been so proud. Then when I saw her up there bearing her testimony that she KNOWS this church is true and that we saved her. I still cant fully understand it. I cant beleive ive been called to this work to rescue these souls. its so humbling. I love Natalia with all my heart! I love every one of my converts and I love to see the peace they feel. Our Mission leader Martin Isasi is the greatest mission leader. He is so excited for this work and its so positive for us. We are grateful. Juan entered the waters of baptism this saturday and was confirmed Sunday at our church! it was beautiful! We have some new investigators that we have super high hopes for and they really love Hermana Milmont and I teaching them. They are excited to see hermanas here. We have also found a family of 4 that are amazing! Ezekiel is still being taught and has a date to be baptized soon. Vicenta unfortunately has not desired to come to church even once still yet so that is a work in progress. We have just been strving to find new people to teach and contacting our refrences like crazy. We have had quite a few things fall through for us but thats how it goes sometimes. Just have to see the sunshine beyond the clouds. We are doing all we can to stay happy and not get discouraged. We need to look at our progress of how far we have come and not how far we have left to go... that way we keep on keeping on!

Pray for us to be led to those that are ready to hear the gospel I promise that if you keep the missionaries in your prayers it will make a world of difference.. LITERALLY! I promise you will feel the power of success in the church because of you and your prayers.

WHAT IVE LEARNED FOR MYSELF THIS WEEK

came to a sad reality that I lack so much still as far as who I want to become on my mission and in my life. I wonder if I will ever accomplish all that I dream to. I have realized that lately Im facing new challenges and I have to admit that Ive lacked the appropriate faith to carry me through these challenges sufficiently when we lack faith we lack hope, when we lack hope, we lack patience. What a stumbling block I have noticed Im struggling with. I have never had a stable life with a sure outcome of somthing to fall back on. Being new to the church Ive felt so blessed to recognize the contrast of a life with and then without the rock of the gospel. Its always constant and never changing and therefore becomes an anchor... but only if we not only BELIEVE it but believe it can work for US! I have desired stability all my life and yet nothing good has lasted for me too long... until I found myself in this work. This past week has been full of struggles. At least by this point its expected. My comp and I istened to this talk by S. Micheal Wilcox while we were studying and I found a lot of wisdom in his words that I needed at this time. He spoke about 1st, 2nd, and 3rd watch... meaning like the different time zones that the day was divided into by the people in Jerusalem during Christs ministry. Explaining further how we are all waiting in different times of our lives in different "watches" for answers to our prayers and for rescue to break through our trial. God comes to us at different watches for different reasons known to him. When we are in trial we think... 1) He doesnt exist or 2)he doesnt care.. or 3) im not worth saving or helping.... I think its safe to say that each of us at some point in our lives have wondered at least one of these doubts. Micheal Wilcox goes on to say for the people who feel they are in their 5th or 6th watch or even 7th.... and still waiting... hold on. Think of the Bardges on the sea that Jareds brother was instructed to build. The bardges were to be

-"TIGHT... LIKE UNTO A DISH" or I suppose that tight like unto a dish is an expression of something solid and sure or safe.

-He was also left to FIGURE OUT FOR HIMSELF... the light that they would need. Which we too need to learn and figure out ourselves.

-God explains that there will be wind and storms and thrashing of waves that will actually come from HIS mouth. (our trials sometimes)

- He explains that he will PREPARE US. And says... therefore, what will ye that I prepare for you... TO HAVE LIGHT?

- if he doesnt still the storm... we know that HE knows... our CAPACITY to handle the storm is TIGHT LIKE UNTO A DISH. whether we see it or not.

- 1st watch ... the lord comes at 1st watch ONLY when we are repenting and accepting this atonement that was paid for us. He loves our desire to do good and be better. He comes to us quickly when we choose to repent and make ourselves new. Thats part of giving our heart to him.

- We need to remember the Prodigal Son when thinking about our repentance and first watch connection. His father quickly kissed him and joyed that he wanted to change and be better.

- "maybe they didnt get it!" -HEAVENLY FATHER

.. maybe they (we) didnt get it with Zeezrom,

.. maybe they (we) didnt get it with Alma..

... maybe I need to teach them with lamoni, or his servants, or his wife, or ..... and so forth

He has said... "PEACE BE UNTO YOU..." and not like a person saying this to us... but a Father of Eternal power love and compassion.. The word PEACE from him means so much more and yet we overlook it. we dont let it set in and take full effect.

- Also Ive learned that God creates a HOLDING PLACE for our hearts to be ready for the answers He has for us.

- Remember the story of Moses asking God "for what purposes has He created all things?" and God responds.. for mine own purpose and it is wisdom in me. My question then is are we really ready to recieve the answers that he has for us?

Then He goes on to tell a personal story of his that sets the background of pain he has felt for His father choosing to never be in their lives which caused a great deal of sorrow for their family... He describes the anticipation he had to pray deeply to God and ask to be given peace and be able to let it all go. He goes through years and years of pain with no answer... wondering how he had still not recieved one. until one day he was expected to prepare a talk about parents and he planned to speak about his loving mother. The spirit impressed upon him to actually speak about his father instead. Just then when his two sons came running by they stopped and starred at him and he described a flood of all his memories with these sons of his that came with great emotion. he then heard the spirit speak... saying... NOW YOU ARE READY FOR YOUR ANSWER... the spirit impressed this question on him... Is it worse to be a son that lost a Father? or a Father that lost a son? He having much greater experience and love as a father himself was able to then realize the true tragedy of missing out on all the joys of being a being a father to a son. He then let the resentment go, feeling peace and sorrow for the loss His father surely had experienced for not being there. I immediately thought of our Father in Heaven... How truly heavy and sad and sorrowful he must feel as he watches more of his children lose their way. He deeply craves for them to return to Him. I reflected on much of my lifes pain and how deeply he desires to heal me in every way. He wants me to understand His Son.

- Why dont answers come when we expect them to come? the answer is this... because the HOLDING PLACE is not yet ready.

- Why I specifically dont have that peace or the answers to all my pain even still... I dont know... but I know that it MUST be wisdom in Him, my father, and my life must be "tight like a dish" or sure enough and strong enough to keep suffering it. And long suffering is the only way to become like Jesus Christ. Its the only way our Holding Places in our hearts will sufficiently hold the riches of all the good our Father has in store to give us. And When we shall meet him after all of our long suffering ours and His joy will be full. For our SUBMISSION to all He has seen necessary to inflict... will inturn be our greatest VICTORY.

Let us ask ourselves... are we sufficiently humble? if we were to meet our maker tomorrow would we have regrets left in our hearts? Could we truly say that we are doing the best we can and know how to be better?

He sees our progress so long as we are moving forward and not back. No matter the rate... he sees it and all things are numbered unto Him. All things will be restored unto us. His love is infinite.

I love you all so much I hope you have a wonderful week!

STILL on the journey of bettering myself... (sigh) (half smile)

... hermana Ashley Ann Gillum