Happy Valentines Day

Hola to all of you incredible friends and family of mine!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY OF LOVE!!!! Its my favorite! This week was a drastic contrast against the back drop of the tough times last week. Today we totally forgot it was Valentines! You forget a lot on the mission its wierd. I cant even remember my favorite songs and that drives me nuts but I know its good to leave everything behind til I get home. I cant even remember peoples names when Im telling stories haha. Its sad but its true, the mission feels like we got sucked back into the pre-exsistance and then when its over we are going to have to get thrown out into the world again haha. So crazy! We woke up and it was our pday but the Elders in our zone wanted us to come play soccer (futbol) in Zarate 2 so we had to travel out there and that alone was an adventure. We needed to go play for once. Ive never played games on a pday before and we needed something to charge us up for the week that we plan on tearing up! Futbol was a blast, Elder Leon from Chile is such an awesome futbol player he was on my team and he showed me some stuff. They are SERIOUS about futbol let me tell you! im going to miss playing futbol with all the Latinos when I get home for sure. Then we came home exhausted and had to head out to walk to town and get groceries. We are budgeting like crazy and thats fine because im used to not eating much anymore. Then we realized, wow we have alot of things to still get done, we have to do laundry and dishes, copy store, emails, and stuff we are doing for our investigators and have this guy come to our house and drill a new lock into the door because we got locked inside our own house when the lock broke the other day! We are so busy because we barely have any time at all to do things. That guy took a while at our house so we had to wait til he was done and now here I am finally writing my email. Theres a fight of some kind of huge going on outside the store but we are just minding our business in here trying to stay out of the way. I just want to say the mission never ceases to amaze me at all it teaches you. The Lord is far more close now than before my mission and I can´t believe the stretch ive taken spiritually. We are still working our butts off and Ive never cried so many tears. Tears of saddness and disappointment but also tears of joy in its purest. Out here you have a lot of time to reflect and wow, looking back over all the events, all the advice of loved ones, all of the wonderful awful beautiful experiences have added up to an amount of gratitude beyond expression. Im so grateful. Even to those times that I was so hurt, it was in those times I grew up the most and reached a better part of my life. Even in those times that I didnt understand, it was in those times I look back and realize I didnt need to, afterall Im not the master potter creating it all, He is. My life is full with how blessed I am by just knowing some of the greatest people on earth. I owe all my acheivments to the Lord and those special people that have encouraged and supported me. Every kind word has gone so far, I want you to know. I hope and pray that all of you have had the ability to see outside, and see all the love even in the most tender of mercies we are showered with. Im humbled out here in Argentina. I used to look for things that I that were so important, and yet, never found a lasting joy. In all honesty Ive found how to keep that joy with me by living off the bare neccessities of life and teaching in the humble homes of people stricken with diseases and poverty here in this wild and beautiful country. My whole life has been filled with struggles but all in all, an adventure, and now im just filling more pages with the beauty of forgetting myself more and the Savior is the one who teaches me how. With reflecting, I have found that I often think, "I should have said this, or done it that way, should have, could have, would have.... but the fact is, you cant change anything thats past and gone, and theres no reason to. The Lord has a much greater plan. He is all perfect, all knowing and with trust in that knowledge, we can feel so grateful that even when we mess up, he has a plan to let us start from nothing or from zero. Not because we are nothing to Him, but because He wants to give everyone a chance to have a pure, clean slate. He wants the VERY BEST for all of us according to our specific needs and desires. I see everyday how so very far from perfect that I am, and how often I talk about things of myself. Never with the intention of doing anything but hoping to bring enlightenment or help to another and yet the greatest help cant and wont come from me at all, that too comes from Him. Ive seen how very subtle and sly Satan is with pride. Whether it be in anything from costly apparell to misjudging someone in thoughts, or even the pride in a photograph. Ive had so much pride before my mission that I never seemed capable of recognizing. Pride gets the best of us all and I want to fight it off every day. I want it so far from me and who I am that I recognize it instantly and correct it. I have really been studying charity lately and how we should constantly be striving to lift one another and do more for people. Thats what the Prophet really emphasized this last conference and I could have been doing a better job at excercising it. Charity never faileth. Its so true. The Lord is charity. Let Him change your point of view and your heart and you will feel the miracles that you are a part of. Thats true happiness.

 

For all of you great friends of mine who have sent me letters, thank you! I read them before bed and highlight the most special parts and they lift me up to want to keep going and do better. Your words mean so much! Family. brooke, thank you so much for your love and the efforts in sending me pics of sweet little Hailey she is such a doll and photos really do make a missionaries day! I want you all to know that Im really sorry for not being good at quickly responding to your emails and letters, I do save them and keep the pile of them by my bed to read them when I need inspiration but also to you great friends who have waited so patiently, I must tell you that Its not that I have forgotten you in the slightest, its just that I have a notebook full of half written letters, ive sent many, and I have some to send tomorrow. BUT at the same time, let me explain in my defense, why mail is difficult. It already takes at the least 3 weeks to get here, then we have to go clear to the office in the city to sign and pick it up. Sending mail takes just as long plus it costs me 10 pesos per one page letter, which is a lot when we are limited to only 180 pesos per week to cover food and transportation and we have a lot of letters to send. So I remembered Elder Lowry, the Presidents assistants advice the day I arrived here and Ill never forget it. He said with sincerety " I love my friends and my family so much, but this work is the most important focus and half way through my mission I stopped writing back because I just couldnt anymore. That sacrifice turned into a great blessing." I love you all so much but I can only send letters once a month now so we can budget our money and you will have to forgive me for not being able to respond more often than that. Its not that Im forgetting you, im just trying to forget myself, in every way that I can so that we can focus entirely on the mission work. PRAY FOR THESE PEOPLE!!! We need to see these miracles that I know can and will happen! You are all in my prayers!

Mark, Im glad that you corrected me and im so glad that you read my blog, you are truly an inspiration for writing so many missionaries and never expecting a thing in return, truly you are an incredible disciple of Christ helping the work more than you know you are! 

Jesse, Chloe, Kendra, Arica, Rory, Marlin, Elders, Barahona, Leaño, Alex, Ben, Skyler, Tereasa!!!! I have NOT forgotten you!

I LOVE YOU GUYS for all the sweet encouraging letters!

 

Robin, Tal, Mom, Brooke, Jocelyn, Nick & Judy, the Sleazaks, Geralann & rick, seelys, and all of my amazing family that I love and appreciate, thank you, I love you and HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! Please tell Hailey thank you for the valentine she made me, what a cutie! and Trey is stinkin cute! I can only imagine how wonderful his prayers are at the dinner table! Joce, hang in there my sweet little sister, its tough at your age sometimes, and things seem like the end of the world, but I promise that if you are strong and you are doing whats right, you WILL be okay, always! You have a big sister and mother and father and great people that love you dearly. You are my angel! keep your head up sweetie and ill pray for you. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo 

 

love, your argentine missionary,

   Hermana Ashley Ann Gillum