" I cannot always still the wind, but I will give you the strength to overcome" - Lord
Ive learned that I LOVE GOALS! I love setting a goal to keep progressing! In dance and in working out, in school and everything really, goals are great things to have! In the mission we celebrate our 1 month in the field, our 6 months, our year point, and then the end. I just realized this month is one of my favorite months! FEBRUARY!!! My FAVORITE holiday is Valentines and at the end of this month I hit my 6 MONTH MARK IN THE MISSION! that is crazy! I only have 1 year left which is somewhere around 48 weeks right? WOW! Time flies. I have many new goals for this month that I plan to hit.
Despite my incredibly inspired week last week and my wonderful experiences and joy for being in Argentina... trials and tests of faith are a consistant basis. This week was SO very hard! At times it seems as though the adversary throws the biggest stumbling blocks in front of missionaries because we are who those on the front lines of this battle. The rollercoaster of mission life is so back and forth that you wonder whether or not you´re actually going to be able to keep pressing on. Every missionary ive ever known has felt this. In life the majority of the time you have a bit more time to prepare yourself to grasp the iron rod tight enough before the next storm hits with hardship.
The beauty of mission work is that there is no pause, there is no wait, there is only the obligation to keep going full speed whether you like it or not. The mission is one of the greatest tools to learn how to "endure til the end" I suppose. A mission: "for the rest of your life". Just when you think you have learned all you could possibly learn for a while, you are suddenly being stretched and pulled in a whole other direction of lessons needing to be learned. All those who have ever served know this to be true. You cannot fully understand until you are an actual set apart missionary, representing the Lord each and every day witnessing for yourself the efforts of the adversary that seek for nothing more than to destroy happiness and drag the work down. A MISSION IS SO HARD! Thats the truth! But I suppose that is why its so incredible. Just as Joseph said, no unhallowed hand will ever stop this true work from rolling forth.
Let me explain a little bit... Our baptisms fell through when we did all we could to secure them, two of them skipped town and were no where to be found. We were so sad for them! I became so frustrated that all of our efforts being lost it seemed. We knew transfers were coming up and we knew that one of us would be packing and getting switched to another area and we felt horrible about all the stumbling blocks we were facing. I felt a bit like Gordon B. Hinckley on his mission, that the time was all wasted because our investigators used their agency to leave town. Ive never prayed so hard. We became physically sick. I ran a fever around 103 with body aches and pains and the whole mess. Medicine out here is difficult to get and the pharmacy people are on vacation! How ironic! haha It was a rough week. I actually wanted nothing more than to speak with my Mom and just hear her voice and have her talk to me about what to do but I couldnt. Total feeling of clostrophobia. we needed soup and sick food but we had hardly any money for the week. It was just a yucky feeling to not be at home with medicine and gaterade. We had to rest in our house full of bugs with no air conditioning running high fevers! Not fun! Not to mention theres a lady that does voodoo where we live and theres always wierd stuff that goes on so we need our building blessed. To top that all off there were neighbors telling us that we should prepare for the end of the world because there have been more and more riots here and disasters. People are going nuts over it. Good thing thats the least of my worries, infact if thats the case, good, Im hoping people will start listening more and start flocking to the baptismal font haha But many things have happened. Unfortunately a bunch of cars were lit on fire (including a mothers that we teach) All the banks here ran out of money for four days! I couldnt believe it. My comp and I realized that we should have known these trials would come after such an incredible week last week, and so they did. When it rains, it POURS!
As of today, im much better and we have recharged our batteries. It could not have been done without the Lords help and the help of the scriptures. We studied them all week and treasured up the answers we recieved. Hermana Romo and i were talking about how all 5 apostles in the MTC warned that we were going into an even more difficult dispensation and they envoked special protection over us and Hermana Romo joked and said, "They said that to you in there!? Oh man I would of stood up with a big smile and said, well thank you, I think ill be going now, that was cute for you all to spiff me up with a cool nametag and all but i think im going to head to my cozy humble abode now!" haha "you didnt say 18 months, you said 18 days right! okay good!" She cracks me up. But its true we know that the world is getting worse and we also know that with the Lord all things are pòssible and we have nothing to fear.
My Comp told me a really good story when we were in bed all sick and bummed out. She gets really into it when she tells me stories so im always very entertained. She acted it all out and she said, " okay so here is a great story that the music director told us in the MTC and I want you to apply it right now. He Said that he wanted to bring up the movie Rocky (the boxer) He is training to fight and hes getting beat up and hes making all these mistakes and his trainer is yelling at him. but then the song THE EYE OF THE TIGER comes on.... dun... dun dun dun... dun dun dun ... dun dun duuuuun! and all of a sudden... Rocky is punching the bag 100 miles an hr. and defeating everyone and reaching the top of the stairs with victory! In the Beginning of our mission, we think our mission is going to be like that. All in a matter of five minutes, we think we are going to walk outside with ou theme song, CALLED TO SERVE and we think people are going to want to be baptized left and right. But its not like that, its really hard work. Its at the end of your mission, that you get to make your 5 min. Rocky video of all the highlights and miracles you have experienced in the last 18 months. That is why you hear all these return missionaries at the podium express all their love for the mission is because they no longer focus on the hard times that got them to those miracles. You focus on the few families that did listen and not the 100 that didn´t listen. In the end, the miracles were all worth it." What a great story that was for me to hear & Its so true. Thats why everyone off the mission says, oh I miss it, it was the best, because its at the end that you realize all you wish you knew in the beginning.
Job said, "When he hath tried me, I shall come forth.. as Gold!"
Hermana Romo found me a quote in her stuff that I absolutely loved and thought I should share with all of you reading this...
its by good old Gordon B. Hinckley - "Many young women are serving missions. Many are preparing to serve. Not because they aren´t married yet or have nothing to do, but because they have a great desire to serve, and are therefore CALLED to the work. The reason so many are going now, is because in this next generation, Heavenly Father will be sending His new priesthood army to earth and wants to send them to the mothers who have been properly trained and taught in the Gospel. What better training can a young woman have, than a mission?" Its apparent that all my life events were leading me up to serving a mission and I feel that I was foreordained for this work clear back in the pre-existance. Not because Im in any sort of way more capable or better than another, but simply because ive been prepared for so long and didnt even know it until that day I put my nametag on.
We were stressed over transfers and yet our prayers were answered and Hermana Romo and I are staying together for this transfer! another 6 weeks whoo! We know that President trusts in us to stay together here and its time to prove to him that we can because we love these people and we wont ever give up. The Savior is why we keep going. We never leave Him. No matter who we are, where we are, no matter what our circumstances or difficulties, we NEVER leave Him. He has descended below all things and suffered all the afflictions and sins of the world and in His darkest and loneliest of hours, He NEVER left us. We imperfectly mess things up time after time, and still His arms are stretched forth to encircle us in His love. He is always there, we just dont always remember that. honestly i have a new fire now. A fire to be better for Him.
"Having patience when we are asked to wait determines everything. Our souls at times, need to be stretched farther and just like a violin, our souls can only make music when stretched." When we are brought time and time again to our knees, the Lord will hear our cries and as the scriptures say, if we endure it well, we shall be lifted up. If we close out trial and affliction we may be shutting out vital benefactors made for our refining. The refining of humans, into saints. Through self-mastery and humility blessings are created, and it is by firm faith, that those blessings are recieved. The Lord wants us to be prepared to recieve such great blessings that await us and we are no great judge to say for ourselves when we are truly ready. We, like Nephi must call on the Lord often for guidance and knowledge. Line upon line. precept upon precept. That takes time and patience with ourselves. Ive really learned what it is to TREASURE up, SEARCH, FEAST UPON, & STUDY OUT the words of Christ. Ive learned why that is so important in all aspects of life. It provides us with the best gift we have been given. The Holy Ghost our comforter and teacher. Only when we are worthy of it can it be with us, and with that being known, why would we ever not want that?
ife is Beautiful awful wonderful! Come what may and love it!
"dont you give up, you hang on, you keep going, some blessings come now, some come late, some wont come until Heaven, but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come!" - Elder Holland
We are teaching many families as of now and we will be fasting often and praying unceasingly.
For all of you praying for the missionaries you are incredible support to us!
You are in all of my prayers and I LOVE you! xoxoxox
Con Amor,
Hermana Gillum
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